The Absent Nipple

Today was do or die day. Jack had his one month appointment and it was the first day for me to take the boys by myself. The day started out smooth and I made it to the appointment on time. I had to leave 45 minutes early to get there which reminded me I really need to find a doctor in my area. Everything went so well up to the point where Jack started getting hungry. We were still waiting for the doctor 30 minutes later and I started to prepare the bottle. I mix it and find that there was no nipple! I look everywhere in the diaper bag and came up with nothing! (Insert slight panic attack) He starts screaming right about the time Dr. Razak comes in. I ask him if they have a bottle and they didn't. He goes on to tell me that he was going to give him one of his vaccinations today (for reasons that went over my head) and takes 10 minutes to explain. All of which I missed because Dr. Razak gave Keegan a dum dum and I could not stop watching him to make sure he did not choke on it.

Keegan is dropping the dum dum on the ground, picking it back up, putting it in his mouth, germs are for sure attaching themselves to the dum dum...and the cycle continues for the 10 minutes. At the same time, the bubble gum flavored candy is staining his white shirt pink and the drool from his mouth is making every square inch of the room sticky. Oh yes, and we have this gigantic stroller in there with us. During the 10 minutes, Keegan keeps unlocking the brakes and ramming it into Dr. Razak.

So back to STARVING Jack and the absent nipple. He gets his shot and guess what...STARVING baby and SHOTS do not mix. I gather up all of our gear and I start smelling something very rank. Keegan starts saying "Stinky" and I thought..YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING! I strip him down, change his gosh awful diaper and Jack is still squealing at the top of his lungs. We finally make a b-line for the car and cross the road to Target. STARVING Jack is beside himself and every person on every aisle was glaring at me like, "You are ruining my precious Target experience". All the while, my face is getting flush and Keegan is bouncing up and down in the front seat yelling, "BALL". We get to the check out line and get behind this woman that had one item. I thought, surely she will see my dilemma and let me go ahead of her. I am fumbling with the bottle, opening up the nipples in line, and she ignores the situation but chooses to glare at STARVING Jack. She takes here sweet time and then pays with cash, counting out every last penny. It was my turn to get my item scanned and the cashier thought it was the perfect time to catch up with the neighbor cashier. I am telling you, at this point I am about to burst, scream, cry... all the above. Luckily, I held it together and this cannon did not fire off. We rolled over to Target's exquisite dining area and I enjoyed a nice fizzy coke, Keegan enjoyed his milk, and finally ...drum roll please... Jack enjoyed his formula. We made it. (phew!)

What I learned from the absent nipple...
*You can not feed a baby without it.
*It taught me that things like this will happen ineveitably to even the most organized parents.
*Next time I go somewhere alone with the boys will be SUPER easy. (comparatively)
*Target is heaven sent.

And one more thing...Jonathan wants you to know that HE packed the diaper bag this morning.