Monday, February 4, 2008

The Absent Nipple

Today was do or die day. Jack had his one month appointment and it was the first day for me to take the boys by myself. The day started out smooth and I made it to the appointment on time. I had to leave 45 minutes early to get there which reminded me I really need to find a doctor in my area. Everything went so well up to the point where Jack started getting hungry. We were still waiting for the doctor 30 minutes later and I started to prepare the bottle. I mix it and find that there was no nipple! I look everywhere in the diaper bag and came up with nothing! (Insert slight panic attack) He starts screaming right about the time Dr. Razak comes in. I ask him if they have a bottle and they didn't. He goes on to tell me that he was going to give him one of his vaccinations today (for reasons that went over my head) and takes 10 minutes to explain. All of which I missed because Dr. Razak gave Keegan a dum dum and I could not stop watching him to make sure he did not choke on it.

Keegan is dropping the dum dum on the ground, picking it back up, putting it in his mouth, germs are for sure attaching themselves to the dum dum...and the cycle continues for the 10 minutes. At the same time, the bubble gum flavored candy is staining his white shirt pink and the drool from his mouth is making every square inch of the room sticky. Oh yes, and we have this gigantic stroller in there with us. During the 10 minutes, Keegan keeps unlocking the brakes and ramming it into Dr. Razak.

So back to STARVING Jack and the absent nipple. He gets his shot and guess what...STARVING baby and SHOTS do not mix. I gather up all of our gear and I start smelling something very rank. Keegan starts saying "Stinky" and I thought..YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING! I strip him down, change his gosh awful diaper and Jack is still squealing at the top of his lungs. We finally make a b-line for the car and cross the road to Target. STARVING Jack is beside himself and every person on every aisle was glaring at me like, "You are ruining my precious Target experience". All the while, my face is getting flush and Keegan is bouncing up and down in the front seat yelling, "BALL". We get to the check out line and get behind this woman that had one item. I thought, surely she will see my dilemma and let me go ahead of her. I am fumbling with the bottle, opening up the nipples in line, and she ignores the situation but chooses to glare at STARVING Jack. She takes here sweet time and then pays with cash, counting out every last penny. It was my turn to get my item scanned and the cashier thought it was the perfect time to catch up with the neighbor cashier. I am telling you, at this point I am about to burst, scream, cry... all the above. Luckily, I held it together and this cannon did not fire off. We rolled over to Target's exquisite dining area and I enjoyed a nice fizzy coke, Keegan enjoyed his milk, and finally ...drum roll please... Jack enjoyed his formula. We made it. (phew!)

What I learned from the absent nipple...
*You can not feed a baby without it.
*It taught me that things like this will happen ineveitably to even the most organized parents.
*Next time I go somewhere alone with the boys will be SUPER easy. (comparatively)
*Target is heaven sent.

And one more thing...Jonathan wants you to know that HE packed the diaper bag this morning.

19 comments:

The Winn Family said...

this is what i have learned in the last 11 months: no matter when the doctor's appointment is scheduled or what you do before the appointment the baby will inevitably be hungry and start crying as soon as the doctor walks in and the doctor will want to have an extended conversation as if unaware the baby is whaling from hunger. it is apparently just one of those unexplainable things that happens every time you take a baby to the doctor.

Melissa said...

You ROCK girl!!! I remember those days! I would have just fallen apart, and then got over it, and I learned....always have a spare in the car...one of everything. I used to keep extra diapers in the pouch behind the driver's seat, and an extra bottle, (with the nipple)already attached to the bottle (Jonathan, you must comply!!)and an extra outfit for each kid, shoes included cause when they peepee, it gets the shoes as well...ha! Hang in there, it does get easier! I would also tell Jonathan, that it's his turn next time...ha!

Amanda said...

Whew! My blood pressure went up while I was reading this. I can't imagine having to live it! What a great outlook that at least the next time will feel super easy. Love you, girl!

Anonymous said...

I would have felt your pain and let you go ahead of me in the Target line! I so don't miss those doctor appointment days!!

LMS

Jennifer Raack said...

Sounds like the boys "broke you in" today. Any other trips from now on will be a breeze!

Shame on those people who glared at you! I always smile when I see a mother with a screaming baby in the store. We've all been there!

Kristin said...

I love your perspective Michelle. In everything that you write, it is so clear that you are living your life daily in an effort to glorify the Lord! I know that you were writing this and being silly, but your heart shines through!

Courtney said...

well alright then... never forget a nipple! i cant believe you went though all that. but now i know that you need an awesome doc on this side of town.... grant and louetta... lakewood prediatrics, part of texas chidlrens... we go there and love it. dr. charnette taylor! AWESOME..

lowerys said...

oh the many things i'm learning from you girls! one of which is to be extremely gentle and gracious to moms in places like Target and the grocery store - because it will be me one day! i do hope the next time is SUPER easy for you!

The Juarez Family said...

LOL, ah the joys of being a parent! It is only the 1st of outing issues! You did fine - thank goodness God created Target - LOL!

Kim

Becky Kiser said...

you never know what you are going to read with a blog title like that! you are a super mom!!! love you!! we so need to all get together for a night. I really want to see your new place.

Lauren said...

Oh my gosh. Remember that "I am supermom" post? You really are.

Dana said...

Oh man, I remember all that...

No fun at all.

Glad you made it through!~!

The Self Cottage said...

wow- this is the very thing that scares me about having #2! You are amazing and I am sure even though your insides were going nuts you were graceful on the outside. I have SO MUCH respect for you and I cannot even wait to meet Jack ( when he is fed- that is) love you

The Kaufmann Krew said...

LOVE that story. I have been there. You do survive and next time will be easy. You tell the story so eloquently. I love it! You kept your cool. Go Michelle!

Sunni at The Flying Mum said...

Oh no. I could cry and/or scream for you!

I'm glad you made it through, and got a fizzy Coke...which is always a comfort!

Matt, Andrea, & Luke said...

coke makes everything better! thanks you Lord!

Becky Kiser said...

hey girl!

i just tagged you... check out my blog.

it was so good seeing you. we all really need to get together soon (and i'm not just saying it). chris really like jonathan a lot too!

love you!

Janelle & Ella said...

This exact thing happening was one of my worst nightmares when Ella was Jack's age. You handled it so well! I would definitely have been crying!!

Lori, Landon and Logan said...

That brought back memories!
Glad you made it to TARGET! They have saved me more than once!
You do get the Super Mom Award!