This season of our life is for sure throwing us for a spin. I finally found out how to manage one child and then number two enters the world and throws our universe off. As Jerrell Altic put it best, "I bet it feels like you are refereeing". All day I bounce from feedings, to Doodlebops, to poopy diapers, to nap time for one, nap time for the other, to cleaning sippie cups and bottles, to tummy time, to reading time, to dinner, to laundry of soiled burp cloths and then to sleep. Then it starts all over the next day. To be honest there are days that I want to escape and then others that all day Keegan and Jack melt my heart and I retract any stupid thoughts I had previously. God reminds me once again that it is not about Michelle and He is humbling me everyday.
Where does God fit into the mix of all of this? How do I have the time to spend with the Creator of the universe that is choosing to spin my universe like this? I have managed to draw closer to Him through song, to silent prayer throughout the day, and verses that pop into my mind for me to dwell on. I know He leads us into these times so that we may draw closer to Him and those moments that we actually get to sit down and spend with Him are so incredibly sweet.
Another part of our story right now is our church. We have joined Houston Northwest Church on the corner of Cypresswood and 249. We feel very drawn to that church but can not for one reason or another find our nitch there. I have met some awesome girls there that I talk to weekly and spend time with, but as a couple on Sunday mornings it has been frustrating. It is not that we don't like the ss classes, but there is not a peace. Jonathan and I went to brunch Sunday morning after SS and had a deep conversation about where God is leading us. We had in our mind for a good while what we wanted to find and even though we have kinda found it, it does not feel right. We also did not want to be in ministry for a while because we longed to be in Sunday school together. (This has not happened yet in our marriage because of my girls minister position at HFBC.) Of course, we want things our way and I think that is where we find the problem. We left Panera Bread with a resolution that we were going to let God show us where he wants us even if it takes months...even if it is serving again on Sunday morning in some capacity. Jonathan remarked, "I feel as if our marriage has grown in the last hour". I agreed. If feels good when you are on the same page and surrendered to our Savior.
I had the opportunity to sing at Jane Ann Bridgewater and Wes Williams's wedding in the company of amazing musicians last Saturday and one of the songs was Take My Life off of the Passion Hymns CD. It happens to be one of my favorite but the words rang true this week as I rehearsed and prepared it. Here are the lyrics, may you find them as refreshing as I have this past week. Even if you know it...take time to read it again.
Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days, let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.
Take my voice and let me sing always, only for my King.
Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect and use every power as You choose.
Here am I, all of me.
Take my life, it's all for Thee.
Take my will and make it Thine it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart it is Thine own it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord I pour at Your feet its treasure store
Take myself and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.
Take myself and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.
Here am I, all of me.
Take my life, it's all for Thee.
8 comments:
I hate to say it, but I kept thinking, "Maybe it's because you're supposed to be serving/teaching." Dern! Maybe at least you'll get to serve side by side! It could be that God gave you a heart for that church because some area needed Jonathan and Michelle's spiritual gifts. Love you guys!
What a great place to be- you are seeking God together as a couple and "forced" to be dependent on Him. That's not so bad, is it? :)
I hear ya on the going from this to that with kids. That seems to be life, which at times, can seem like we're not "accomplishing much." And you know what? Perhaps it's because God needs to change our minds on that. We're doing exactly what God's called us to- we're being help mates to our husbands, caring for their children and household to enable them to do what God's called them to do in providing for our families. We're shaping little minds and hearts to hopefully, one day, by the grace of God, embrace Him as their All. That means changing diapers, doing much laundry, making many bottles for right now. That's a high calling- to bring up children in the Lord.
My mom constantly reminds me, when I'm feeling like I'm missing out or not doing anything "productive", that that is simply not true. I'm being extremely productive! Doing what God has us called to in this stage of life, being exactly where He wants us-in our case, at home with our babies- is the best place, because we're in HIS will. Granted, sometimes I don't like the feeling of His will. :) I at times, prefer to be away from home doing something that feels like I'm getting somewhere and making a difference being productive- and getting PAID for it! It'll all burn in the end. Only God's will is worth it!
I LOVE that hymn, by the way...thanks for reminding me of it. I'm going to play that this week!
Struggling with you (and I'll be praying with you this week too!)-
Lynette
Thanks for that song. I never really focused on the words...truly meaningful! I totally understand what you mean about the kiddos! It is a full day!
Okay, you blessed my heart. What fun to chat with you and Jonathan Saturday night! I was in awe of this song and wishing I had the words - thank you Lord for even hearing my wishes! Great post girl - hope to see you again soon!
A few months ago, our pastor preached on doing God's will and he said something very phenomenal; He said, "Having a Peace about something is nowhere in the Bible."
I tell you this because for years, that is what I used and for the first time, I realized, "HE was soo right."
When God plants you in a church, he will guide you and lead you where he wants you to be. Be patient, be flexible and then just relax. God will put you exactly where he wants you in this new church. This may be a time when God wants you and your hubby to sit back and soak in the juices of the Lord.
I know I don't know you guys all that well, but I could see you leading a couple's class together, or being the fellowship coordinators of a class. Whatever you decide, I just know God is going to bless you and those around you. Take your time and relax.
Hang in there on the Mommy front too. Find a MOP's group to join. That way you get at least one day a week where you can have adult conversation and learn valuable things about being a Mommy and wife, and wonderful things about the lord; and time away from the kids. Write me anytime. I have a 9 year old and a 5 year old. Life is full of surprises at any age. You hang in there and know that I am praying for you.
We will sure miss you at the Ladies Retreat this year here at Murphy Road. Love ya!
girl i totally know what y'all are going through with the sunday school stuff. chris and i are really struggling to find our place now too. thanks for sharing. very encouraging to just be patient and wait on God's leading!
michelle - thanks so much for sharing this. we all go thru these periods of not really knowing where we're "supposed" to be. (i even blogged about this in january - so i've been there recently!) a pastor when i was at HPU my freshman year said something that has always stuck with me - "when you don't know what God's will is for you at a specific point in your life, just do what you know to do." i think in the doing of the things we know we are to do (spend time in His Word, pray, fellowship with believers, use our gifts for His glory, serve...) He will reveal things to us. He might not always lead us to a specific answer to our prayers - but we will learn more of where we should be as we're doing what we know to do. hope that made sense. and i too love the words to that song! thanks for encouraging us to read it again. love you!
Hey I just wanted to say (again) how great you were at the wedding - you gotta make a CD and I can hussle it for.. Maybe I can go around from church to church and sell them out of my trunk!
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