Sunday, May 25, 2008

On the front line...

Can I just be real?

I have been rounding that corner again. It has been so familiar to when I passed through that excitement and awe stage with Keegan into a very lonely season which I am pretty sure was hormones. Again, I think I am entering into it again. I keep clinging to the hope that God gives and fight the despair that wants to creep into my soul everyday. I feel myself pulling away from people and not wanting to be engaged. Exhaustion wants to steal every ounce of joy away from me and the walls of my house want to inch closer and closer.

This time I am going to do what it takes to prove that my God is bigger than any malicious thought that Satan tries to plant in my spirit. I will believe. The enemy will not win and I am pretty sure that there will be a major battle and God will not wave the white flag but come out victorious...as always.....

I just felt like I needed to kick myself into gear and what a better way than voicing it so that the enemy knows I mean business.

7 comments:

Murrell Family said...

I love your honesty and will be petitioning God for you about this. Two boys is definitely a challenge...I know that you are a great mom though, so Satan has no basis for his attacks!

Linsey said...

Having two kids so close together is a full time job. I will be praying. Try to spend a little time (if possible) doing something for yourself...go out with the girls, walk around the mall (alone) or get your nails done. Sometimes that helps with the Mommy badge ways too heavy. This too shall pass.

courtney said...

I know that place very well. We should talk, if you want.

Janelle & Ella said...

Yes, Amen! I will be praying for you. Thank you SO much for sharing this with us. We could all be a little more "real" so that we would know how to pray for each other. I'm calling you later. I love you!

The Bargain Shopper Lady said...

Hang in there Momma! This is a rough season. Make sure you get enough dates with hubs and I second making sure you get time off. Even going to get diapers can calm the soul after a day of what seems like craziness! When the baby turns one, your life will get easier and when he turns two you will have a fun little fam to do anything with, like going fishing and camping with those boys! Praying for you!
~Lori

FordeFam said...

I understand totally!!! I'm glad you blogged about this because I think the enemy wants us to believe we're the only one to feel this way and feeds us guilt for even going there in our minds!!! I'll be praying for you!!! I often read peoples blogs and then think about all that I'm not doing and feel sorry for myself instead of doing something about it! Hahaha! As GI Joe used to say (from what I hear) knowing is half the battle!!! ;) I need to get myself in gear too!!! :) Great job and thanks for this blog!!! :)

Sunni at The Flying Mum said...

You go girl! That's one of my biggest fears of having a 2nd child is going through "it" again. But you stand strong...keep your joy! Thanks for being real.

By the way, from the pictures above, the 4th one down, I think Jack looks so much like Keagan!